So it is day 2 of "Debbie at the beach leaving me all alone for 7 days."  Having the house all to yourself for 7 days can be interesting.  Silence in the night, you have to get use to it.  I'm use to being alone in day, but at night Debbie is home and we talk, sit together, eat, and ahem, "other things."  Everything in this house reminds me of her, I gave her free reign to do with as she pleases.  She treats it just like a little girl does her dollhouse.  She told me when she was growing up, she played house everyday.  I asked her once, "well is this like your days of playing house when you were 5?"  "Pretty much, only then I was married to Richard Chamberlin, but you're a close second."  "Well that makes me feel better, I guess being runner up to him is not all that bad."

Last night it seemed I was all alone in this great big world.  Playstaton Network has been down 3 weeks, and that has been a BIG bummer, how that gadget passes the time, and with Debbie gone I could blow up stuff really LOUD.  So that activity was off the board.  I watched a movie off Netflix, studied Fox News till my eyes blurred, got tired of that and went on the internet.  About 10pm my phone buzzed, it was her.

"Heeeeey miss me?"

"Yesssssss too quiet here, but you don't have that problem where you're at, sounds like you're in a club somewhere"

"LOL, kinda, at the bar section of this seafood place"

"if some guy wants to buy ya drinks its ok, save ya some money when can spend when ya get home"

"I wish I had known, I turned down 2 already"

"DID NOT"

"DID TOO"

"dadgum, I better get down there"

"Oh hush, didja water my plants outside?"

"yesss been following THE list, tomorrow is take out trash and scoop cat box"

"I'm impressed, gotta go, tawk tomorrow k?  I love ya!"

So this morning I slept in, got online,and fed Roxy (cat)  Debbie is a morning person so she's use to eating at 5:30am, but with me she's going to have to adjust.  Her meowing at me didn't work this morning.

About 9am my phone went "She's the dancing queen only 17," her ringtone so I know its HER from anywhere.

She asked, "so what ya doin today?"

"I dunno, not got that far yet, you?"

"we're gonna lay at the pool till lunch, then go down to the beach"

"well I'm gonna call Meggie (my niece in law that we treat as a DIL.)" and see if she's doin tacos, today is Wednesday."

"I spoke to her last night, she's workin"

"dang, reckon I'll eat tacos out then, prolly go after Mass tonight, I'm sure I can find someone to tag along from the Wednesday evening crowd."

"Talk to Chris?"

"Text message, said his last class is next Thursday"

"It will be good to have him home for 2 weeks"

"yeah"

So we hung up and I gathered my stuff to go run.  When I finished that I came home and ate a chicken sandwich.  Now I'm just hanging out waiting on time to go to church.  Still have to water stuff and scoop the cat box though.

Beach Trip

Debbie and I have been empty nest over 10 years, and in that time span we have grown closer and more understanding of each other then we ever thought possible.  There are times in some marriages, when you know you still love your partner, but you're not sure if you like them.  With her movie star looks, and sweet, kind nature, I was smitten by her from the beginning, and loved being around her.  All that is still true today.  Anyone that meets her, can't help but love her.  Her spell on me is as strong as ever, and in that vein I'm the only guy she has ever loved.  Yes, she dated some in high school, but she followed her mother's advice and did not allow herself to be sucked into a high school romance, that usually leads to heartache and trouble.  We started dating early in college and married a year later.  I didn't plan to get married at 21, but I didn't want to risk losing her.  I knew then, like I know now, no one will ever love me the way she does.  Our love was of the purest kind, and maybe that is why we never went through a period where we didn't like each other.

With Chris grown and on his own, our careers successful and moving forward, we now have the time to look inward, and in many ways we seem to have reverted back to our carefree days of courting, and the 3 years we were married before Christopher born.  A time in our lives when we enjoyed the things most 20 somethings do, the only problem was we didn't have the means back then to do ALL we wanted.  But now, in our mid 50s, we have the resources and time to do almost anything, so that makes this chapter of our lives even more fun then the pre Chris era.

The last 10 years I have traveled the country on my motorcycles, and much of Europe.  I've done things I never thought I would get to do.  Debbie flies out to meet me when I'm in California or New England, to share the experience without the long ride she cares nothing about.  The last few years I've encouraged her to do things without me, to have a life outside of here. She goes shopping on Saturday while I watch the ballgames, or she meets at friends homes to play games, she goes out to eat with her sister, and spends time with her mother.  I know none of those things could ever replace me, but I alway felt, even 20 years ago, each of us needs to have our space, a break from the everyday.  A night without diapers, fixing supper, cleaning, work related stuff, or just taking a break from US.  That was important, because whenever we are together she puts me first, and stresses about it.

Besides being with ME, one of the things she enjoys most is her annual beach trip with her 2 best friends for 7 days.  No husbands allowed.  Just the 3 ladies.  "So what do y'all do for 7 days?" I asked a couple of years ago. "I mean I can see 3-4 days, but 7?"  You can only take so much sun I'm thinking.  "I'll never tell," was the answer.  I suspect they lay in sun, sip wine at night, eat seafood, and watch old movies and read books.  Doesn't compare to riding a motorcycle across the Rocky Mountians, but to each his own.

So she's leaving tomorrow for the beach trip, and all day today I've been getting final instructions.  The same instructions for the last 5 years.  We came home after Mass today, and while I was still in the kitchen she said-

"ok sit over here so we can go over the stuff you need to do while I'm gone"

"lemme guess, you have THE list ready"

"yep"

"how come you don't have any faith in me?"

"because something always happens while I'm gone, plants die, fish die, cookware lost, vacumn mysteriously quits working, clothes not washed, cat starving...

"ok, ok, that stuff was just bad luck, it could happen to anyone, doesn't mean I forget to do stuff"

"just listen, I went to the store and bought stuff you like, so eat here when you can.  I know you eat out when I'm gone, or call friends, but we're in a recesssion so be responsible.  Quit spendin so much money"

"didja make me some chicken noodle soup to warm up?"

"yes, in the fridge, you can make 3 meals outta that"

"Good, and I can play Playstation LOUD as I want, watch ANY movie on the shelf too. "

"yeah, but don't get too use to it"

She spent the rest of the day packing her things and getting stuff squared away.  I mostly stayed out of the way.  She's leaving about 9am in morning to make the 3 hour drive to Destin.  She spent a hour on the phone with Chris, who called to wish her happy Mother's Day.

We have a custom, when I return from a long tour, we eat out the night I return, but when she goes on a trip we eat out the night before she leaves.  Don't ask why, we just do.  In keeping with that tradition we went to Longhorn's this evening.  While we were eating I asked, "so you're all ready to go?"

"oh yessssss, going to be fun, but you know, I can't wait to get back home, when the time comes"

"yeah, I know, funny, when I'm on the road, and sleeping in a different bed, not as bad as sleeping home just me in the bed"

"I know what you mean, now you see how I feel when you're gone on a trip."

"Well I am the model husband"

"Hush"

So if any of y'all gonna be in the area, or live close by, I'm available for supper next week.

The Seminarian and Mother's Day

In a week, our son Christopher will complete his first year of seminary for our diocese.  He loves what he is doing, and can't wait to be ordained, but that is still 4 years away.  Now that we have direct knowledge of what it takes to be ordained in this day and time, I have new found apprecitation for today's priests.

He will be home in 10 days, for a  2 week vacation, before reporting to his summer assignment at a parish in the southern portion of the state.  He says the Archbishop and Vocations director prefer seminarians work outside of their home parish for the experience.  Younger seminarians, with little life experience, are encouraged to find work in the private sector during the summer, while remaining active in their home parish.  Christopher already holds a business degree, and worked 8 years in a Fortune 500 company before answering his calling, and as such the diocese is not going to send him back home to flip burgers, thus a summer assignment.  He'll be detailed out to a large, affluent parish on the coast, that will pay him a monthly stipend.  That's good, because at this stage of the discernment, the office does not want seminarians to be working on the outside.  Before entering school, he sold his car, (noway to pay for it) and most of his belongings.  All he buys are black shirts and pants, and his cell phone.  His tution, room and board, all paid by the diocese, that I can add is very expensive.

So Debbie and I were eating a quiet lunch at home today when she asked,

"hear anything from Chris today?"

"yeah, couple of text messages," as I cut my grilled chicken.

"well, what did he say?"

"nuttin much,"  I knew what she was hinting at, if he remembered Mother's Day.

"He didn't say anything?"

"Not really, he had just left morning prayer and was walking back to his room, said he was goin fishin (the campus has several large ponds) after daily Mass and lunch."  I knew for a fact he had already sent his mother a card, it came in yesterday, but I put it away, planning to give it to her in the morning.  A few days ago, while looking for some old pics for a project, I came across a home made Mother's Day card, he had created in about 3rd grade.  It was tied with ribbons, and had a nice message with pictures of a braclet, necklace, and himself on the inside cut from a magazine, it said, "if I had lots of money I would buy you stuff like this, but since I don't have a job, all I have is my love."

I thought that was pretty neat, so secured it someplace safe, to give to her this year, along with his current card.

We were sitting around watching TV that evening, and once again she asked, "anything from Chris?"

"Yeah he said they were cooking out down on the Wharf (a sports bar thing on the campus where they congregate to watch sports and eat hamburgers and hots dogs when they want something different from the catered food in the cafeteria).

"That's all?"

"No, he said to give you this, hold a minute."  I came back with his childhood Mother's Day card, and his present card.

She placed her hand over her heart, and didn't say a word for a long time, but I could see the tears welling up in her eyes.  "I remember this card, I knew he was special even then."

"Yeah, but he belongs to the Church now, and wherever they send him will be his family, he is no longer just our son."

"I know but I will always be his mother, I was worried he had forgot me"

"you know he would never do that, I hear from the Archbishop he gives you credit for where he is at every chance he gets."

"really?"

"Yes, he told me that when we saw him at Easter Mass at the Cathedral"

He has not been home since Christmas, the longest span in his 30 yeas of existence, although we did see him Easter when we visited him at school.  I could sense she was kind of sad, so I lightened the moment up with, "hey you wanna ride out east and get something good at Sonic?"

"matter of fact I do"

"ok lemme get my shoes on"

And we left and split a strawberry sundae on the tables outside on a beautiful evening.

Beginnings

So I have my own blog, and that begs the question why?.  Fair enough, as a member of several forums, I would often post about topics concerning the Church, family, and life.  Not that I'm a expert on any that, but for some reason folks seemed to like what I had to say, and reading my stories of life in a place where being Catholic puts me in a unique minority (my city is less than 2% Catholic) gives me plenty to write about.

One thing you will note if you follow my blog- I can make  a story out of the most mundane of things, and I suppose that is why people enjoyed reading my stories on various forums, they could relate.  I'm a simple guy, and I try to write in the same manner, so everyone can undestand-I hope.

I found many young couples especially liked where I was coming from, kind of like showing the way to the promised land, that things get better if you stick it out.  Debbie and I have been happily married for 33 years, our life together has been very blessed,  Not only have we been powerfully attracted to each other all these years, but we are good friends, with good careers. We started like most kids newly married, eating beans and rice on hand me down furniture while she was in night school, and I was working a terrible factory job, waiting for the fire department to call me.  Couples endure many phases to reach the pinnacle of a empty nest, security, and happiness, and it makes us feel good when some young couple, going through the trials of money, child rearing, and discontent, say we are giving them something to shoot for.  Our path here was probably not as difficult as others, but over the years we have witnessed many divorces and other tribulations of our friends, so we have insights. 

Last summer, our handsome bachelor son, making money in the private sector with all the things a young man wants/needs, gave it all up to enter the seminary to pursue his calling to the priesthood.  Needless to say, it took us time to get our hands around that.  The fact he is our only child (not our choice, but God's) only added to the anxiety.  I will expand on that in the days and weeks to come.

So welcome to my blog, not only do I hope you find something useful, but find entertainment.  Stay tuned.