Debbie and I have been empty nest over 10 years, and in that time span we have grown closer and more understanding of each other then we ever thought possible. There are times in some marriages, when you know you still love your partner, but you're not sure if you like them. With her movie star looks, and sweet, kind nature, I was smitten by her from the beginning, and loved being around her. All that is still true today. Anyone that meets her, can't help but love her. Her spell on me is as strong as ever, and in that vein I'm the only guy she has ever loved. Yes, she dated some in high school, but she followed her mother's advice and did not allow herself to be sucked into a high school romance, that usually leads to heartache and trouble. We started dating early in college and married a year later. I didn't plan to get married at 21, but I didn't want to risk losing her. I knew then, like I know now, no one will ever love me the way she does. Our love was of the purest kind, and maybe that is why we never went through a period where we didn't like each other.
With Chris grown and on his own, our careers successful and moving forward, we now have the time to look inward, and in many ways we seem to have reverted back to our carefree days of courting, and the 3 years we were married before Christopher born. A time in our lives when we enjoyed the things most 20 somethings do, the only problem was we didn't have the means back then to do ALL we wanted. But now, in our mid 50s, we have the resources and time to do almost anything, so that makes this chapter of our lives even more fun then the pre Chris era.
The last 10 years I have traveled the country on my motorcycles, and much of Europe. I've done things I never thought I would get to do. Debbie flies out to meet me when I'm in California or New England, to share the experience without the long ride she cares nothing about. The last few years I've encouraged her to do things without me, to have a life outside of here. She goes shopping on Saturday while I watch the ballgames, or she meets at friends homes to play games, she goes out to eat with her sister, and spends time with her mother. I know none of those things could ever replace me, but I alway felt, even 20 years ago, each of us needs to have our space, a break from the everyday. A night without diapers, fixing supper, cleaning, work related stuff, or just taking a break from US. That was important, because whenever we are together she puts me first, and stresses about it.
Besides being with ME, one of the things she enjoys most is her annual beach trip with her 2 best friends for 7 days. No husbands allowed. Just the 3 ladies. "So what do y'all do for 7 days?" I asked a couple of years ago. "I mean I can see 3-4 days, but 7?" You can only take so much sun I'm thinking. "I'll never tell," was the answer. I suspect they lay in sun, sip wine at night, eat seafood, and watch old movies and read books. Doesn't compare to riding a motorcycle across the Rocky Mountians, but to each his own.
So she's leaving tomorrow for the beach trip, and all day today I've been getting final instructions. The same instructions for the last 5 years. We came home after Mass today, and while I was still in the kitchen she said-
"ok sit over here so we can go over the stuff you need to do while I'm gone"
"lemme guess, you have THE list ready"
"yep"
"how come you don't have any faith in me?"
"because something always happens while I'm gone, plants die, fish die, cookware lost, vacumn mysteriously quits working, clothes not washed, cat starving...
"ok, ok, that stuff was just bad luck, it could happen to anyone, doesn't mean I forget to do stuff"
"just listen, I went to the store and bought stuff you like, so eat here when you can. I know you eat out when I'm gone, or call friends, but we're in a recesssion so be responsible. Quit spendin so much money"
"didja make me some chicken noodle soup to warm up?"
"yes, in the fridge, you can make 3 meals outta that"
"Good, and I can play Playstation LOUD as I want, watch ANY movie on the shelf too. "
"yeah, but don't get too use to it"
She spent the rest of the day packing her things and getting stuff squared away. I mostly stayed out of the way. She's leaving about 9am in morning to make the 3 hour drive to Destin. She spent a hour on the phone with Chris, who called to wish her happy Mother's Day.
We have a custom, when I return from a long tour, we eat out the night I return, but when she goes on a trip we eat out the night before she leaves. Don't ask why, we just do. In keeping with that tradition we went to Longhorn's this evening. While we were eating I asked, "so you're all ready to go?"
"oh yessssss, going to be fun, but you know, I can't wait to get back home, when the time comes"
"yeah, I know, funny, when I'm on the road, and sleeping in a different bed, not as bad as sleeping home just me in the bed"
"I know what you mean, now you see how I feel when you're gone on a trip."
"Well I am the model husband"
"Hush"
So if any of y'all gonna be in the area, or live close by, I'm available for supper next week.
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